Digital Work Etiquette

Not every connection builds you. Some quietly break you. “Build your network,” they say. What they don’t teach is the equally important skill: knowing when to create professional distance. I learned this early — and the hard way. I once shared context about office dynamics with a new colleague, thinking it would help her onboard. One of those “this stays between us” moments. It didn’t. What I meant as helpful context became circulating information. That was my first real lesson in trust. The second came later. A colleague I considered a close friend was having backchannel conversations with leadership, trying to pull one of my teams under her scope. I found out after the fact. No acknowledgment. No conversation. Just quiet maneuvering. I managed to stop it — but the damage was already done. Here’s what those experiences taught me: Anyone can be blindsided. Experience doesn’t make you immune. Ignoring your instincts just delays the cost. Being thoughtful about who you trust isn’t being guarded. It’s being responsible. Strong leaders aren’t just good at building relationships. They’re intentional about managing them. Think about it this way: You wouldn’t give everyone unrestricted access to your inbox. So why give everyone unlimited access to your time, energy, or context? Strategic distance doesn’t mean coldness. It means clarity. Here’s what that looks like in practice: ↳ Keep conversations project-focused, not personal ↳ Use the grateful redirect: “Thanks for flagging . Let’s anchor on our quarterly goals.” ↳ Create structure instead of constant availability ↳ Stay consistent and professional with everyone ↳ Share information deliberately, not reflexively The goal isn’t to burn bridges. It’s to stop building them too fast. Your time, energy, and trust are finite. Managing them well isn’t politics. It’s leadership. Not every professional relationship needs closeness to be effective. The strongest leaders know which relationships to nurture — and which to keep at a respectful distance. The hardest lessons about trust don’t come from enemies. They come from people you assumed were safe. That distinction changes how you lead. ➕ Follow Janet Kim for leadership, judgment, and career growth inside complex organizations. 📩 Level Up Weekly → janet.kim/levelup

The MD who proved my entire view on the power of relationships sent me this text at 9:47pm: "Just had drinks with someone I met 7 years ago at a conference. We've exchanged maybe 5 emails since. Tonight he offered me a board seat." Seven years. Five emails. One life-changing opportunity. Most executives think relationship building means endless coffee meetings, forced networking events, and LinkedIn messages that feel like homework. They're exhausted by the performance of it all. But after 25+ years in financial services, I've learned the executives with the deepest networks do something radically different: They invest in relationships like they're building a portfolio, not closing deals. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗣𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗳𝗼𝗹𝗶𝗼 𝗔𝗽𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝘁𝗼 𝗣𝗿𝗼𝗳𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗹 𝗥𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽𝘀: 𝗤𝘂𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗢𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗤𝘂𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗶𝘁𝘆 You don't need 500 LinkedIn connections who wouldn't recognize you in an elevator. You need 50 people who'd take your call during their kid's soccer game. Depth beats breadth every time. 𝗣𝗹𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝗦𝗲𝗲𝗱𝘀, 𝗡𝗼𝘁 𝗗𝗲𝗺𝗮𝗻𝗱𝘀 Send the article that made you think of them. Make the introduction that helps their business. Share the opportunity they'd be perfect for. No ask attached. No quid pro quo expected. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝟵𝟬-𝗗𝗮𝘆 𝗧𝗼𝘂𝗰𝗵 𝗥𝘂𝗹𝗲 Every quarter, one meaningful touchpoint with your core network. Not "checking in" emails. Real value: An insight, a connection, a resource. Takes 10 minutes. Compounds over years. 𝗕𝗲 𝗜𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗱, 𝗡𝗼𝘁 𝗜𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 Stop crafting the perfect elevator pitch. Start asking better questions. The most powerful networkers I know remember your kid's college search, not your revenue targets. One client implemented this approach and told me: "I stopped networking and started actually caring about people. Turns out that's the whole secret." Because authentic relationship building isn't about working the room or perfecting your personal brand. It's about being genuinely useful to people with zero expectation of return. The executive who texted me about the board seat? She hadn't "networked" with that person in seven years. She'd simply been helpful when it mattered, stayed loosely connected, and trusted that good relationships create their own opportunities. Your next breakthrough won't come from the person you pitched perfectly at last night's event. It'll come from someone you helped three years ago who suddenly needs exactly what you offer. Stop networking. Start investing. 💭 What's one relationship you've let go dormant that deserves a genuine reconnection this week? ------------ ♻️ Share with someone who needs to rethink their approach to professional relationships ➕ Follow Courtney Intersimone for more truth about building executive influence

You don’t need to attend awkward networking events to build connections. Here are 10 ways to network online (from your couch) to land your dream job, mentorship or just to stay in touch: 1. Start with warm calls, not cold DMs Reaching out to strangers is intimidating. So, begin with people you already admire or respect: past colleagues, old classmates, mentors, or anyone you’ve gotten value from. Reach out, share your goals, ask for advice, or simply reconnect. — 2. Build (or join) a 3-6 person mastermind Invite people you admire to check in monthly or quarterly. Ask 3 simple questions in each meeting: • What’s your biggest win? • What’s your biggest challenge? • How can we help each other? This becomes your personal board of advisors, and their networks become yours, too. — 3. Make intros within your own network Instead of always trying to add new people, try connecting two people you already know. It builds goodwill, and often sparks reciprocity. Some of my best opportunities came from introductions I made first. — 4. Be the tortoise, not the hare Strong networks aren’t built in a week. They come from consistency, trust, and staying top of mind. Check in. Celebrate small wins. Be helpful, even without asking for anything.  — 5. Send snail mail Want to stand out in a sea of LinkedIn messages? Send a handwritten card or even a fun comic with a note. The person will always remember your “extra” effort. — 6. Elevate the interaction • Only chatted with someone online? Try a call. • Had a few calls? Try a Zoom meeting. • Know them over Zoom? Meet up in person. Each upgrade strengthens the connection. — 7. Pick one platform to dominate Instead of being everywhere, go deep somewhere. For example, if it’s LinkedIn: • Endorse people • Write thoughtful comments • Share niche insights your network actually values   This depth pays off more than shallow visibility. — 8. Curate, don’t just connect Curate the best insights, tools, or articles in your niche, and share them regularly. You’ll become a trusted source people keep coming back or referring to. — 9. Do something fun together Shared activities build bonds. This could be as simple as playing a game, joining a sweepstakes, or co-hosting a webinar.  People remember who made them feel something. — 10. Swipe right (yes, really) Apps like Shapr or Invitly are designed for warm outreach — you match with people who want to meet others. It’s cold networking without the awkwardness. Networking isn’t about pitching. It’s about planting seeds. Start with one person. Reach out. Reconnect.  Then keep showing up, helping others, and making connections that count.

Directors and VPs: Your network is expiring right now, and you do not know it. I see this every week with the senior professionals I work with. They have impressive titles, strong track records, and a LinkedIn connection count that looks healthy on paper. But the moment they need their network, they discover the truth. It was never a network. It was a contact list. Here is what separates the professionals who get called first for opportunities from the ones who are still waiting: 𝟭. 𝗔𝘂𝗱𝗶𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗻𝗲𝘁𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸 𝗯𝗲𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗱𝗼 𝗮𝗻𝘆𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗲𝗹𝘀𝗲 Identify the ten people most relevant to where you want to go next. Then ask yourself one honest question: when did you last add value to any of them without needing something back? A contact list waits to be activated. A network grows whether you need it or not. 𝟮. 𝗟𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘃𝗮𝗹𝘂𝗲, 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗿𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝘀 Before asking for anything, give something first. Share a relevant article, acknowledge a genuine win, or offer an introduction that benefits them. The senior professionals with the strongest networks are not the best askers. They are the most consistent givers. 𝟯. 𝗕𝘂𝗶𝗹𝗱 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽𝘀 𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗹𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗹 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘁𝗮𝗿𝗴𝗲𝘁 Most professionals network laterally. The ones who grow fastest network upwards. Identify five people who are already where you want to be in three years. One relationship at that level is worth more than fifty connections at your current one. 𝟰. 𝗠𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗼𝘂𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗳𝗶𝗰, 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗰 Never send "I would love to connect and explore opportunities." It signals zero preparation and zero respect for their time. Reference something specific about their work, their company, or their recent activity. Specificity signals you did the work. Generality signals you did not do it. 𝟱. 𝗦𝘁𝗮𝘆 𝘃𝗶𝘀𝗶𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝘁𝘄𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀 Networking is not a series of one-off interactions. It is a presence you maintain over time without an agenda. Comment meaningfully, respond to updates, and check in without needing something. The professionals who get called first are not always the most qualified. They are simply the most present. A network is not built when you need it. It is built long before that moment arrives. And the professionals who understand this are never the ones caught starting from zero. Save this post if you are a Director or VP who knows your network needs attention. If you are ready to work on your positioning and your network intentionally, send me a message. I want to make sure it is the right fit before we start.

Most job seekers approach networking the wrong way. They think it’s about who they know, but the real game-changer? 🚀 Who knows YOU (and what you bring to the table). If the right people don’t think of you when an opportunity arises, you’re missing out on referrals, hidden roles, and direct introductions that can fast-track your job search. Here’s how to build real connections that lead to job offers: 1️⃣ Show Up Where Your Industry Hangs Out If no one in your field knows you exist, you’ll stay invisible to opportunities. Instead of lurking, start contributing. ✅ Comment on industry leaders' posts. Share insights, ask smart questions, and add value to conversations. ✅ Join relevant LinkedIn & Slack groups. Participate in discussions, answer questions, and share useful resources. ✅ Attend virtual or in-person events. Ask insightful questions in Q&As—people remember active participants. Example: Instead of just following a hiring manager, engage with their content. Comment: “I love this take on [topic]. We faced a similar challenge at [Company]—curious how your team tackled [specific aspect]?” This builds familiarity before you ever send a connection request. 2️⃣ Make Your LinkedIn Work for You If someone looks you up after seeing your comment or post—what will they find? ✅ Strong headline → “Marketing Manager | Grew SaaS ARR from $5M to $12M | Content & Demand Gen Expert” (Not “Seeking Opportunities”) ✅ Clear About section → Share your expertise and key achievements, not just a job history. 3️⃣ Warm Up Connections Before You Need Them Don’t be the person who only messages when they need a job. Instead, start relationships early. ✅ Reconnect with old colleagues: "Hey [Name], it’s been a while! I saw you recently moved to [Company]—how’s it going? Would love to catch up!" ✅ Follow up on online interactions: If someone responds to your comment, DM them: “Loved your perspective on [topic]! Would love to stay in touch.” ✅ Offer value before asking for help: If you see an article, podcast, or resource relevant to someone, share it: “Thought of you when I read this—figured you’d find it interesting!” 4️⃣ Turn Conversations into Opportunities The best networking doesn’t feel like networking—it feels like a genuine conversation. When talking to someone new: ✅ Be curious: Ask about their career journey, not just job openings. ✅ Make it easy: Instead of “Can you refer me?” ask: “Would you be open to sharing any advice on breaking into [industry]?” ✅ Follow up: If someone gives you advice, update them later: “Took your advice and connected with [Person]—really appreciate your insight!” Example: If you build relationships before you need them, you’ll be top of mind when the right opportunity comes up. Networking isn’t about chasing people—it’s about making yourself visible and valuable so opportunities naturally come your way. 💡 What’s one networking habit you can start today? Drop it in the comments! ⬇️

The fastest way to end a professional relationship before it begins is to make your first interaction an ask. It happens all the time. Someone starts a new job and immediately messages the CEO or a senior executive: "Can I pick your brain?" "Would you have 30 minutes for coffee?" "I'd love to learn from your career journey." It feels ambitious to the sender, but to the recipient, it often feels transactional. Think about it from their perspective. They don't know you yet. They haven't seen your work, your judgment, or your contributions. Yet your very first interaction is asking them to give you their most limited resource: time. The highest achievers approach this very differently because they understand that relationships are built before they're needed. One of the most valuable networking strategies I've learned came from my friend and co-author, Andy Lopata FLPI FPSA PSAE. He calls it the 24-7-30 Rule, and it's brilliantly simple. Within 24 hours of meeting someone, send a brief note reminding them where you met. Seven days later, share something relevant to your conversation, like an article, podcast, or insight. Thirty days later, reconnect again with something of value. Notice what's missing. There isn't an ask. There isn't a request for coffee. There isn't a request to "pick their brain." Instead, you're building familiarity, trust, and credibility one thoughtful interaction at a time. Most people think networking is about making introductions. The people who build extraordinary careers know it's really about mastering the follow-up. I recently chatted with Kate Snow of NBC News about how to do networking right...because opportunities rarely come from a single conversation. They come from relationships you've intentionally nurtured over time. ⭐⭐⭐⭐ Dr Ruth Gotian is a scholar and keynote speaker on success and high performance. 🎤 She speaks to organizations, President's Clubs, leadership offsites, and associations. 🔎 Her work has been featured in the Wall Street Journal, New York Times, Fortune, Harvard Business Review, and Fast Company. ▶️ Press follow and set the 🔔 to "Always" to learn how the world's highest achievers succeed, and you can too.

By now, you already know: the best roles are rarely filled through job boards. They’re filled through relationships. Over the years, I’ve refined a method I call the “Strategic Access Framework.” Here’s how it works: 1️⃣ Identify the right people inside your target company Don’t just think about recruiters. Instead, ask: Who has insights about the team, culture, and challenges I want to be part of? These are the leaders and decision-makers worth building a connection with. 2️⃣ Initiate a conversation to learn, not to pitch Set up meetings with genuine curiosity. Ask about the company’s direction, leadership priorities, and what success looks like in their roles. When you focus on learning, you naturally leave a stronger impression. 3️⃣ Position yourself for a referral Referrals don’t happen by accident. They come from thoughtful conversations. By asking the right questions and sharing relevant experiences, you’ll naturally open the door for them to connect you to the right opportunity. 4️⃣ Nurture the relationship long-term A single meeting isn’t the end. It’s the beginning. Stay in touch, share insights, and keep the dialogue going. That way, when opportunities arise (and they will), your name is already top of mind. I’ve seen professionals land interviews and offers within weeks by applying this approach. The key is to stop relying on online applications and start investing in the relationships that drive hiring decisions.

Your network is worthless when you actually need it. Unless you’ve cultivated it over the years. Everyone's talking about layoffs, job anxiety and career security. Your network is your lifeline. But not if you only think about it when you're in trouble. After 25 years of coaching executives through multiple economic downturns, I've seen the same pattern. The people who land on their feet aren't scrambling to build relationships when the writing's on the wall. They spent years building authentic connections when they didn't need anything. Most networking advice is superficial. Here's what actually works: 1️⃣ Proactively share others’ wins  When something goes well, highlight  the people who helped make it happen. Send their boss a note. Tag them in your success post. This single habit builds massive  goodwill. 2️⃣ Make introductions that surprise people Don't just connect people in your industry. The VP of sales who loves hiking needs to meet the operations manager who leads wilderness trips. Unexpected connections create value. 3️⃣ Remember what they actually care about Someone mentioned  their daughter's career  search six months ago. When you see a relevant article, send it. Stand out by remembering the human details. 4️⃣ Ask for their opinion on your challenges  "I'm thinking through this issue and could use your perspective" is a form of sincere flattery. People love sharing expertise. 5️⃣ Amplify their voice, not just their achievements Don't just comment on promotion posts. Share their insights. Quote their smart takes in your own content. Make  them a thought leader in your network. 6️⃣ Follow up on the hard stuff When someone mentions a difficult project or family situation remember to check in about it.  "How did that restructuring announcement land with your team?" “How’s your mom?” Real relationships aren't built when you need something. They're built over time with sincere interest in others’ success. It’s a good moment to check in with someone to see how they’re doing.

🤝 From an Introvert to Introverts: How I Turned Networking Into My Superpower 💪 As an introvert, the idea of walking into a room full of strangers used to terrify me. Small talk felt forced, and I often wondered if I could ever make meaningful connections. But over time, I learned that networking isn’t about being the loudest in the room—it’s about being authentic. Here’s what worked for me: 💡 Quality Over Quantity: I stopped trying to talk to everyone. Instead, I focused on a few meaningful conversations. Those connections turned into long-lasting relationships. 🌐 Leveraging LinkedIn: For someone like me, online networking was a game-changer. It gave me the space to thoughtfully engage, share ideas, and build my professional brand without the pressure of in-person interactions. 🎯 Finding My Tribe: Once I identified the industries and communities that aligned with my interests, networking felt natural. Shared passions made it easier to connect. ✨ You don’t have to be the loudest voice in the room to be heard. Authenticity always speaks louder. 👉 My Advice: If you’re an introvert struggling with networking, start small, lean into your strengths, and take it at your own pace. Trust me—it’s possible to build a powerful network while staying true to yourself. If you’d like to explore strategies to make networking work for you, let’s connect. I’d love to help you turn this challenge into an opportunity! #NetworkingForIntroverts #AuthenticConnections #CareerGrowth

As an introvert, the thought of large professional gatherings can be overwhelming. However, you know that networking is crucial for career growth and professional success. One strategy that has worked for me is leveraging online platforms to build meaningful connections. Sites like LinkedIn allow for thoughtful engagement without the immediate pressure of in-person events, making it easier for introverts to connect and engage. By creating and sharing content, you can attract connections naturally. Platforms like Medium, YouTube, GitHub, and X also offer great opportunities to expand your reach and showcase your expertise. Start by joining online communities related to your field and contributing valuable insights. This approach not only helps you build your network but also positions you as a thought leader in your industry. Online networking allows you to take your time crafting messages and engaging in conversations at your own pace. It breaks down the barriers to the hardest part of networking: meeting a large volume of people. For introverts, this method is more manageable and comfortable, opening doors to new opportunities and meaningful relationships. Do you consider yourself an introvert? If so, how have you thought about effectively networking? #Networking #Introvert #CareerGrowth #ProfessionalDevelopment