Empathetic Leadership Skills

A few years ago I was working with a program director when she asked me how she—as a white cis woman—could be a stronger ally to me as I navigated spaces within her institution. I really appreciated it. The directness. The humility. The “I don’t want to assume what you need; I’d rather ask you.” I didn’t feel the weight of educating her. I didn’t feel performance. I felt intention—a real desire to align on how she could leverage her positional power to make my role easier, safer, and more equitable to navigate. So I told her, “Let’s start with something specific.” Instead of handing her a broad lecture on allyship, I named one clear barrier: when I presented to the board, they directed every question to her—and she answered for me. We unpacked it. She admitted her instinct was to shield me. But through our conversation she realized how it diminished my authority, my expertise, and how the board perceived my role. And she shifted. Not in a grand, public way—but in a small, intentional, behavioral way. First with me, and then with others, and over the years I could see the effort expand. I watched her evolve into a different kind of ally altogether. So when we talk about positional power… about proximity to white supremecist culture… about equity gaps inside institutions… I want us to remember this: Allyship doesn’t live in sweeping theoretical frameworks. Sometimes it’s often one clear behavior, changed on purpose, that transforms the dynamic for everyone involved. Bold doesn’t always mean big. Bold can be specific. Bold can be small. And small things—done consistently—shift cultures. #Leadership #EquityInPractice #Allyship

Empathy isn’t soft it’s a superpower. Used wrong, it burns leaders out. Here’s how to make it sustainable. Empathic orgs see more creativity, helping, resilience and less burnout and attrition. Employees (esp. Millennials/Gen Z) now expect it. Wearing the “empathy helmet” means you feel everyone’s highs and lows. Middle managers fry first. Caring ≠ self-sacrifice. The fix = Sustainable empathy Care without collapsing by stacking: self-compassion → tuned caring → practice. So drop the martyr mindset. • Notice your stress (name it) • Remember it’s human & shared • Talk to yourself like you would a friend • Ask for help model it and your team will too Why does this matter? Unchecked stress dulls perspective and spikes reactivity. When leaders absorb nonstop venting, next-day negativity rises and so does mistreatment. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Move 2: Tune your caring Two empathies: • Emotional empathy = feel their pain • Empathic concern = help relieve it Keep concern high, distress low. “Caring binds; sharing blinds.” How to tune (in the moment) • 60 seconds of breathing before hard talks • Validate without absorbing: “This is hard and it makes sense.” • Boundaries + presence: “I’m here. Let’s focus on next steps.” • Offer concrete help: “Here’s what we’ll try by Friday.” • Also share joy celebrate wins to refuel the tank Move 3: Treat empathy as a skill It’s trainable. Build emotional balance: shift from absorbing pain → generating care. Try brief compassion meditation (“May you be safe, well, at ease.”) and pre-regulate before tough conversations. Mini audit after tough chats Ask yourself: • How much did I feel with vs. care for? • What do they need long-term? • What will I do to help this week? A simple script 1. Validate: “I can see why this stings.” 2. Future: “Success looks like X.” 3. Action: “Let’s do Y by [date]; I’ll support with Z.” Team rituals that sustain you • Start meetings with “What help do you need?” • Normalize asking for support • Micro-celebrate progress weekly • Protect recovery blocks on calendars Self-compassion + tuned concern + practice = sustainable empathy. What’s one habit you’ll try this week to protect your energy and support your team?

Want to build an unstoppable team? Start with empathy. Think of it like this: empathy isn't just about being nice. It's the ability to: • Truly understand what motivates your team, • Recognize their struggles, • Celebrate their wins wholeheartedly. It's the foundation for building trust. The kind of trust that makes people feel safe to speak up, to challenge the status quo, and to bring their best selves to work every day. Empathetic leaders build stronger teams and inspire unshakeable loyalty. This environment is where true innovation happens. When team members feel understood, they're more engaged, more invested, and more likely to take the initiative that drives success. It's not always easy, especially in high-pressure environments. But taking the time to step outside our own perspective, to actively listen and observe, is a powerful investment. It leads to better decision-making, stronger problem-solving, and a workplace where everyone feels motivated to contribute their all. Remember, empathy isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of strength. And a key ingredient in creating a truly unstoppable team.

Inclusion isn’t a one-time initiative or a single program—it’s a continuous commitment that must be embedded across every stage of the employee lifecycle. By taking deliberate steps, organizations can create workplaces where all employees feel valued, respected, and empowered to succeed. Here’s how we can make a meaningful impact at each stage: 1. Attract Build inclusive employer branding and equitable hiring practices. Ensure job postings use inclusive language and focus on skills rather than unnecessary credentials. Broaden recruitment pipelines by partnering with diverse professional organizations, schools, and networks. Showcase your commitment to inclusion in external messaging with employee stories that reflect diversity. 2. Recruit Eliminate bias and promote fair candidate evaluation. Use structured interviews and standardized evaluation rubrics to reduce bias. Train recruiters and hiring managers on unconscious bias and inclusive hiring practices. Implement blind resume reviews or AI tools to focus on qualifications, not identifiers. 3. Onboard Create an inclusive onboarding experience. Design onboarding materials that reflect a diverse workplace culture. Pair new hires with mentors or buddies from Employee Resource Groups (ERGs) to foster belonging. Offer inclusion training early to set the tone for inclusivity from day one. 4. Develop Provide equitable opportunities for growth. Ensure leadership programs and career development resources are accessible to underrepresented employees. Regularly review training, mentorship, and promotion programs to address any disparities. Offer specific development opportunities, such as allyship training or workshops on cultural competency. 5. Engage Foster a culture of inclusion. Actively listen to employee feedback through pulse surveys, focus groups, and open forums. Support ERGs and create platforms for marginalized voices to influence organizational policies. Recognize and celebrate diverse perspectives, cultures, and contributions in the workplace. 6. Retain Address barriers to equity and belonging. Conduct pay equity audits and address discrepancies to ensure fairness. Create flexible policies that accommodate diverse needs, including caregiving responsibilities, religious practices, and accessibility. Provide regular inclusion updates to build trust and demonstrate progress. 7. Offboard Learn and grow from employee transitions. Use exit interviews to uncover potential inequities and areas for improvement. Analyze trends in attrition to identify and address any patterns of exclusion or bias. Maintain relationships with alumni and invite them to stay engaged through inclusive networks. Embedding inclusion across the employee lifecycle is not just the right thing to do—it’s a strategic imperative that drives innovation, engagement, and organizational success. By making these steps intentional, companies can create environments where everyone can thrive.

“𝗜 𝗡𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗛𝗮𝗱 𝗮 𝗣𝗿𝗼𝗯𝗹𝗲𝗺 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗣𝗹𝗮𝘆𝗲𝗿𝘀” CBF- Confederação Brasileira de Futebol - Brazil SOCCER head coach, Carlo Ancelotti discusses how he managed not selecting players, which he believes contributed to him having good relationships with those he coached. He explained that he would not automatically explain why he’d not selected player, unless the player asked. Ancelotti is widely respected for how he manages players with compassion: “The best way to manage a team is to treat players as people first. You have to understand their character, their problems, their family, their feelings. If the player feels respect and confidence, he will give everything for you. Tactics are important, but the human side is more important.” An important lesson for all leaders and not just those in sport. By understanding a person’s problems, their feelings, and their character, you can lead with compassion. 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗮𝘀𝘀𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗟𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗽 Compassionate leadership, essentially involves acts of kindness, selflessness and caring from a leader (Oruh et al. 2021). Coach Ancelotti is engaging with some of the key principles of compassionate leadership. According to West (2021) compassionate leadership involves the following strategies: 1️⃣ Carefully listening to people 2️⃣ Understanding 3️⃣ Empathising with others 4️⃣ Supporting people 5️⃣ Enabling people to feel valued, respected and cared for John Terry played for Ancelotti at Chelsea Football Club and said: “What I really loved about Carlo was his man-management. The way he adapted as well – because he had a way of coaching that probably didn’t suit English football.” He also said: “He adapted very quickly and when speaking to me, Frank [Lampard], Didier [Drogba], he wanted to pick our brains: ‘is this too much tactics for the players to do? Are we doing too much of this?’ I’ve never had a manager in all my career that actually asks the players and gives them a bit of responsibility.” Terry added: “As players naturally, when things go wrong, it’s the manager, it’s never our fault. You know the responsibility is on you as a group. And he was part of that. The togetherness was incredible and obviously we went on to win some big things.” In soliciting information from the senior players and adapting his plans based on the information he received, Ancelotti was fulfilling the players' basic psychological need for autonomy. The need for autonomy represents an athlete’s need to decide what, how, and when he or she does it. As such, it represents an athlete’s need to be the origin of one’s own actions (Amorose, 2007). According to Chu et al. (2019), coaches are the most important member of an athlete’s entourage that influences autonomy. We can all learn from Ancelotti’s approach to leadership. (🎥: Apex.analysis1)

Stop answering what's asked, Answer what's meant instead: When someone asks, "How's the project going?" most respond, "It's fine." But great leaders know this surface-level question masks deeper concerns: • "Should I be worried?" • "Are we meeting our goals?" • "When will I get the next update?" • "Do you need help?" Surface-level responses miss opportunities to: • Build trust through transparency • Provide actionable clarity • Demonstrate ownership • Address unspoken concerns Worse, vague answers breed doubt, cause churn, and trigger unnecessary escalations. Here's what to do instead: 1/ If you know the person: Use your understanding of their concerns and priorities. For example: • “It’s on track. We’re dialing up milestone M1 on Tuesday as planned. Our next status update is scheduled for Wednesday.” 2/ If you don’t know the person well: Provide an answer and invite clarity (demonstrates ownership). For example: • “The project is on track for delivery by XX/YY, and I’ve attached our latest bi-weekly update. Are there specific areas or concerns you’d like me to address?” Answering the question behind the question is a leadership superpower. PS: Questions are icebergs—90% lies beneath the surface. --- Follow me, tap the (🔔) Omar Halabieh for daily Leadership and Career posts.

If you're setting goals to create a more inclusive workplace in 2025, my experience may save you time, money, and unmet expectations. ✅ Quick Wins (low effort, high impact) Start with team psychological safety. Inclusion is felt most in everyday team interactions—meetings, feedback, problem-solving. 👇 Use tools like: 1. The Fearless Organization Scan to uncover blind spots and team dynamics. 2. Debrief session with an accredited facilitator to discuss results openly and set clear, actionable improvements. 3. Action plan with small shifts in behavior, like leaders modeling vulnerability, asking for input first, or establishing "speak-up norms" in meetings. These micro-actions quickly build team inclusion and unlock collaboration. 🏗️ Big Projects (high effort, high impact): To create sustainable change, invest in structural inclusion. 👇 Focus on: 1. Inclusive hiring & promotion practices: build diverse candidate pipelines and train interviewers on bias mitigation. 2. Inclusive decision-making: ensure diverse perspectives are integrated into key business decisions. 3. Inclusive leadership: train leaders to actively foster diverse perspectives, intellectual humility, and trust in their teams. Empower leaders to align inclusion with business goals and make it part of their day-to-day behavior. 🎉 Fill-ins (low effort, low impact): Awareness events (like diversity month) are great for building visibility but should educate, not just celebrate. 👇 For example: 1. Pair cultural events with workshops on how diverse values shape workplace communication. 2. Use storytelling to highlight how diverse perspectives lead to tangible business wins. 🚩 Thankless Tasks (high effort, low impact): Avoid resource-heavy initiatives with little ROI. 👇 Examples: 1. Overcomplicated dashboards: focus on 2–3 actionable metrics rather than endless reports that don’t lead to change. 2. Unstructured ERGs: without clear goals and leadership support, these often become frustrating rather than empowering. 3. One-off training programs: A two-day training on unconscious bias without follow-up or practical tools is a missed opportunity. 💡 Key Takeaways 1. Inclusion thrives where it’s felt daily—in teams and decisions. 2. Start with quick wins to build momentum and tackle big projects for systemic change. 3. Avoid symbolic efforts that consume resources without measurable outcomes. 🚀 Let’s turn inclusion into a tangible, strategic advantage that empowers your teams to thrive in 2025 and beyond. _____________________________________________ If you're new here, I’m Susanna—an accredited team psychological safety practitioner with over a decade of experience in DEI and inclusive leadership. I partner with forward-thinking companies to create inclusive, high-performing workplaces where teams thrive. 📩 DM me or visit www if you want to prioritize what truly works for your organization. 

Most of our interactions—especially the difficult ones—are negotiations in disguise. In their book Beyond Reason, Roger Fisher and Daniel Shapiro highlight how success in these conversations often comes down to addressing core concerns—deep, often unspoken emotional needs that shape how people engage. These concerns are: Appreciation, Affiliation, Autonomy, Status, and Role. Ignore them, and you’ll likely face resistance, disengagement, or frustration. Acknowledge and address them, and you create the conditions for stronger relationships, better problem-solving, and more win-win outcomes. I’ve learned this the hard way. Appreciation A senior leader I worked with was frustrated by pushback from his team. The problem? He was so focused on driving results that he rarely acknowledged their efforts. Once he started genuinely listening and recognizing their contributions, engagement skyrocketed. The team felt heard, and collaboration improved instantly. Affiliation A new CEO walked into a fractured leadership team—siloed, political, and mistrusting. Instead of pushing quick solutions, she focused on rebuilding connections, creating shared experiences, and reinforcing that they were one team. The shift in culture transformed their ability to work together. Autonomy A department head was drowning in tactical decisions because his team constantly sought approval. By clearly defining goals, setting guardrails, and empowering them to make decisions, he freed up his time and saw his team step up with more confidence and accountability. Status A high-potential leader felt overlooked and disengaged. His boss didn’t give him a raise or a new title but started including him in key strategic meetings. That simple shift in visibility changed everything—he became more invested, more proactive, and took on bigger challenges. Role A VP was struggling, not because of a lack of skill, but because she was in the wrong seat. When her boss recognized this and shifted her to a role better suited to her strengths, she thrived. Sometimes, people don’t need a promotion—they need the right role. Before a tough conversation or leadership decision, check in: - Am I recognizing their efforts? - Making them feel included? - Giving them autonomy? - Acknowledging their status? - Ensuring their role fits? Addressing core concerns isn’t about being nice—it’s about unlocking the best in people. When we do, we create better conversations, stronger teams, and real momentum. #Conversations #Negotiations #CoreConcerns #Interactions #HumanBehavior #Learning #Leadership #Disagreements

One of the hardest tensions in leadership is this: How do you care for your people and still hold the line on performance? Too many leaders treat empathy and accountability like competing values. They're not. The real breakdown usually happens somewhere else: Assumption. Leaders assume employees understand the pressure they carry. The stakes. The expectations. The weight of decisions that affect the whole business. And employees often assume leaders cannot see their reality either. This gap creates friction. The answer is not less empathy. And it is not softer accountability. It is more honesty. Talk more. Listen more. And stop assuming your team can see what you see just because they work near it. The leaders who do this well make expectations clear, explain what is at stake, and create enough trust for people to hear hard truths without shutting down. Empathy without clarity creates confusion. Accountability without communication creates resentment. Performance requires both.