Power Dynamics In Negotiation

Here's a truth as old as time: power corrupts. Psychological research shows that people under the influence of power are more impulsive, self-centred, reckless, arrogant and rude than average, they are more likely to cheat on their spouses, are less attentive to other people and less interested in others’ perspectives. Power appears to work like an anaesthetic that makes you insensate to other people. Neurologists have discovered that a sense of power disrupts what is known as ‘mirroring’, a mental process which plays a key role in empathy. Ordinarily, we mirror all the time. Someone else laughs, you laugh, too; someone yawns, so do you. But powerful individuals mirror much less. It is almost as if they no longer feel connected to their fellow human beings. As if they’ve come unplugged. If powerful people feel less ‘connected’ to others, is it any wonder they also tend to be more cynical? One of the effects of power, myriad studies show, is that it makes you see others in a negative light. If you’re powerful you’re more likely to think most people are lazy and unreliable. That they need to be supervised and monitored, managed and regulated, censored and told what to do. And because power makes you feel superior to other people, you’ll believe all this monitoring should be entrusted to you. This is also what I’ve seen in places like Davos, the Swiss ski resort where global elites convene every year for the World Economic Forum. Most attendees are not ‘bad’ or ‘evil’ or anything like that - I think ‘blind’ and ‘disconnected’ would be much better descriptions. Sadly, such emotional blindness can be just as destructive as pure wickedness. —> Adapted from my book ‘Humankind: A Hopeful History’.

How to (female) Diplomat: Navigating Male-Dominated Spaces (Without Losing Your Dignity, Self Respect and Authenticity) A very senior ambassador once threw a top secret briefing on the ground in front of me—fully expecting I’d pick it up. A calculated power move, dressed up as carelessness. I let it lie there. After all, his arms weren’t broken. Instead, I met his eyes and said, “I think you dropped something, Ambassador.” Then waited. Silence. Eventually, he bent down and picked it up. I realised something that day: Some people test you just to see if they can. And if you play along, they’ll keep pushing the boundary. I’ve spent years being the only woman in the room – whether in the army or diplomacy. Sometimes the youngest, too. And often, the only one not trying to prove I belonged by mimicking the men around me. Because here’s the real power move: 𝗕𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳. Trying to blend in might feel like the safest option, but in diplomacy or business, it’s your differences that make you effective. So, if you find yourself in a room where the rules weren’t written with you in mind, try this: 1️⃣ 𝗢𝘄𝗻 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗣𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 Ever notice how some men tend to take up space—physically, vocally, and in decision-making? Don’t shrink. Take the seat at the table. Speak first if you have something valuable to say. → 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝗳𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗶𝘀𝗻’𝘁 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘃𝗼𝗹𝘂𝗺𝗲; 𝗶𝘁’𝘀 𝗮𝗯𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘃𝗶𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻. 2️⃣ 𝗣𝗹𝗮𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗟𝗼𝗻𝗴 𝗚𝗮𝗺𝗲 I once watched a male colleague dismiss a female diplomat’s input in a negotiation—only for him to miraculously propose the same idea 15 minutes later. Instead of calling it out directly, she let him own it and subtly reinforced the idea so it stuck. The win mattered more than the credit. Every single person in that room knew where the credit lay. → 𝗦𝘁𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗴𝘆 𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗲𝗴𝗼. 3️⃣ 𝗙𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗔𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗲𝘀 Not everyone in the room wants to see you succeed. But some do. Spot the quiet power brokers—the ones who influence decisions without being the loudest. → 𝗕𝘂𝗶𝗹𝗱 𝗮𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲𝘀. Some of your best allies might be men. 4️⃣ 𝗙𝗹𝗶𝗽 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗦𝗰𝗿𝗶𝗽𝘁 𝗼𝗻 “𝗟𝗶𝗸𝗲𝗮𝗯𝗶𝗹𝗶𝘁𝘆” Ever been told you’re too direct? Or not assertive enough? Too friendly. Or not friendly enough. The double bind is real. But instead of playing an impossible game, reframe it: →𝗗𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝗺𝗲? 𝗗𝗼 𝗜 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝗺𝘆𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳? If the answer is yes, likeability is a bonus, not the goal. 5️⃣ 𝗦𝗲𝘁 𝗕𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝗮𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀—𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗛𝗼𝗹𝗱 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗺 Whether it’s a demeaning “joke,” being interrupted, a door deliberately slammed in your face—set the boundary. Then hold it. Because the moment you don’t, they’ll push it further. 💡 You don’t need to be louder, tougher, or “one of the guys.” You just need to be strategic about how you show up. What’s worked for you in male-dominated spaces? Let’s share the playbook. 👇

For the last part of my Energy Resilience series, we have to talk about the worst-case scenario – when the lights actually go out. Earlier this year we saw that happen in Spain and Portugal. A major blackout left millions without power. Trains stopped, shops couldn’t take card payments, hospitals and factories switched to backup. A wake-up call that modern life depends on electricity in ways we often forget until it is gone.   This is what happens when grids are pushed to the edge by fast-moving disturbances or extreme conditions. A couple of years ago, South Australia experienced a state-wide blackout after severe weather took out multiple transmission lines. Investigations showed the system lacked enough inertia to stay stable through the shock. Part of the solution was to install synchronous condensers – giant flywheels that give the grid “weight” and stability. Siemens Energy delivered two of them as part of the response. Not the only measure of course – adapting regulation is also essential – but it showed something important: without resilience in the system, recovery is slow and uncertain. So what do we actually need if we want a fast ramp-up after a major incident? From my perspective, it comes down to three things. 1️⃣ Standardize before the crisis: When parts fail, every minute spent interpreting drawings or debating specifications is a minute the lights stay out. Standard equipment and uniform processes mean teams can move quickly because they are working with tools they already know. Recovery begins long before the fault happens. 2️⃣ Design power plants with failure in mind: A fast restart depends on assets built to recover quickly, not just run efficiently. That means black-start capability, smart redundancy where it matters and systems that can restart without waiting for the wider grid. In the U.S. for example we supported a power plant with a battery system that enables multiple restart attempts within one hour – resilience designed into the plant itself. 3️⃣ No improvisation in the dark: A blackout is the worst moment to negotiate who does what. Good restoration plans spell out which assets come back first, how to stabilize small sections of the grid and when to reconnect them safely. Regular drills with operators, authorities and major customers turn these plans into routine rather than theory. These steps matter because in any major incident skilled people are often the scarcest resource – grid operators, field crews and technical specialists. That is why preparation matters so much. Clear roles, common standards and trusted partnerships mean limited teams can do more in less time. Because when the worst happens what people remember is how long it stayed dark. I hope you have found this mini-series useful. I know social media is often about speed and short takes but sometimes – especially on important topics like this – I find it worthwhile digging into the detail together.✍️ I’d be interested to hear if you agree.

I stopped explaining myself to people who were committed to misunderstanding me. Power dynamics are not optional. If you don’t understand how they work, they will shape you anyway. The word influence makes people uncomfortable because it sounds like deception or selfish control. Influence, at its highest form, is the ability to manage your response when things feel personal. Most of the work happens in how you study people, not how you speak to them. The way someone escalates, withdraws, deflects, or performs under pressure tells you everything. There are archetypes in every room. Knowing who you’re dealing with helps you avoid losing control. When you don’t know the pattern, you become part of someone else’s. Your tone. Your timing. Your silence. Your posture. Your delivery. You do not have to burn with them to prove you saw the fire. You can hold your ground without lighting a single match.

Why Women Get Punished for Negotiating the Way Men Do The backlash research, and the one reframe that changes the outcome. - - - You ask your boss directly for the resources you need. Your male peer does the exact same thing in the next meeting. He's seen as decisive. You're seen as... a lot. This isn't in your head. Researchers at Harvard and Carnegie Mellon had evaluators review identical negotiation scripts - the only variable changed was the gender of the person asking. Women who initiated negotiations for more compensation were penalized at more than three times the rate men were, rated as significantly less "nice" and more demanding for behavior that, coming from a man, barely registered (Bowles, Babcock & Lai, Harvard Kennedy School). Here's the part most leadership advice skips: the penalty isn't for asking. It's for who the ask appears to be for. The same researchers found that when women advocate assertively on someone else's behalf - for their team, a direct report, a project - the backlash disappears. Same tone. Same directness. Same request. Radically different reception. So if you've felt that flicker of hesitation before asking for the resources, the credit, or the clearer mandate - while watching a male colleague do it without a second thought - that hesitation is data, not a personality flaw. The fix isn't to shrink the ask. It's to shift the frame: Not "I need more budget." "The team can't hit the Q3 number without more budget." Not "I should be getting credit for this." "The team's work on this needs to be visible at the leadership level." Not "I need a clearer mandate." "The team needs clarity on scope to move fast - and that starts with me having it." Same assertiveness. Same outcome you're after. A completely different social read. This isn't about abandoning your ambitions or authenticity. It's about knowing the terrain well enough to walk it without paying a tax your peers don't pay. - - - I write about (and coach executives on) leadership dynamics like this regularly - follow along if you want more of it in your feed.

A man was hired over a woman. Following 7 rounds of interviews. When the woman (my friend) asked why she missed out on the role, she got a vague response: → They were equally qualified → Both performed well → It was neck and neck So… what tipped the balance? Eventually, she got the answer: He asked for more money. That’s it. They said his negotiation showed “Commercial instinct.” “Confidence.” “Leadership potential.” They didn’t offer him more because he was better. They decided he was better because he asked for more. Her hesitation was seen as a lack of belief in herself. That’s why when clients ask me, “Should I negotiate?” I say: Always. Not just for the money but for what it signals. And here’s why it matters: 🔹 Only 34% of women negotiate their salary, compared to 61% of men (Source: LinkedIn Gender Insights Report) 🔹 The gender pay gap is 14.3% (and it widens dramatically for women over 40.) Ladies, it's time to close that gap: 1. Don’t pitch a number first. Pitch your value. → Frame the conversation around impact: → “Here’s what I’ve delivered…” → “Here’s the commercial value I’ve driven…” 2. Price your potential not your past. → You’re not being hired to repeat what you’ve done. → You’re being hired for what you’ll do next. 3. Do your research. Then ask for more. → Benchmark your role, level, and industry. → Use tools like Glassdoor. 4. Use the ‘Bracketing’ Technique. → Offer a range so you can negotiate. → "I’d expect something in the $150–$180K range.” 5. Own your worth. Out loud. → If you downplay your value, people will believe you. → Negotiation is not arrogance but it takes practice. It isn’t just about pay. It’s about perception. And perception shapes outcomes. Have you ever wished you asked for more money?

He got offered $5K more than me. For the same role. 😱 We were both in our twenties. Same job title. Same responsibilities. But he got $5,000 more. When I challenged it, I was told: “Well, he’s a man. He needs it more than you.” 😱😱 I didn’t know how to respond to that! Plus I didn’t want to rock the boat and I really wanted that role. But here’s what I know now:  $5K isn’t just $5K. - It’s compounding super. - It’s a deposit on a home. - It’s leverage for your next role. - It’s the difference between catching up and getting ahead. It adds up. And it starts early. This is how the gender pay gap really works— Not necessarily in one big leap, but in notional $5K increments. 👉 Women aren’t less ambitious. 👉 We’re not less capable. We’ve just been taught to be grateful instead of gutsy. Here’s what I wish I’d known back then: - Talk openly about pay with your trusted peers. - Always ask how the offer compares. - Never disclose your current salary, ask the budget instead. - Rehearse saying the number you really want out loud (a story for another day) - And remember: “No” doesn’t mean stop. It often means start negotiating. We need to normalise these conversations. Because silence doesn’t protect us. It protects the system. Have you ever found out someone was paid more than you for the same job? Let’s talk about it 👇 #leadership #genderequity #professionalwomen

I built an animation of Spain's post-blackout grid recovery. Quite fascinating to see the nodes and lines being energized one by one. Just to be clear: it's not 100% accurate and for illustrative purposes only. But I think it highlights some important points: ▶️ Without interconnections with France and Morocco, the restart would've been much more difficult ▶️ Not all black-starts succeed so you need a lot of redundancy. Several hydro plants were black-started to create electrical islands and support the start of thermal power plants. But you'll notice in the animation that some frequency islands disappear. Plus there were 3 more attempts that aren't shown on the map because the islands never propagated. ▶️ Hydro power was key in the restoration process. Countries without hydro need a good alternative. On the two last points, the Expert Panel recommends adding battery storage to black-start tests. This would provide an additional safety layer in case some restart attempts fail / if there is limited hydro availability. Link to the map and this week's substack post on blackouts in the comment below.

Off late I have helped many professionals negotiate CTC > 1 Cr Here is what I have learned Negotiation changes once the number crosses ₹1 Cr. It’s no longer just about money. It’s about value. Below ₹1 Cr, you negotiate on salary. Above ₹1 Cr, you negotiate on impact. No one pays ₹1 Cr for skills alone. They pay for clarity — for someone who can move the needle. At that level, it’s not “What’s my CTC?” It’s “What problem will I solve?” People who reach that stage know their numbers. They know their worth, but more importantly, they know what they bring to the table. Negotiation happens quietly. It’s not about showing another offer. It’s about showing results, patterns, proof. You don’t say, “I deserve more.” You say, “Here’s the value I can create.” That’s the difference. That’s what gets you past ₹1 Cr — and keeps you there.

Same message. Two totally different reactions. One person felt seen. The other felt attacked. Why? 𝗠𝗶𝗻𝗱𝘀𝗲𝘁. I can say the exact same words. But what they 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘳 depends on what mindset they’re in. Most people stay at surface level: → Numbers, terms, blame. Some go deeper: → Relationships, expectations, emotion. But only a few know how to drop beneath it all, to the real issue: “𝗛𝗼𝘄 𝗶𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗮𝗳𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝗜 𝘀𝗲𝗲 𝗺𝘆𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳?” That’s where the 𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝘁𝘆 𝗹𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗹 mindset kicks in. It’s where negotiations collapse. Or transform. - They’re not rejecting our offer,  they’re defending their status. - They’re not resisting feedback, they’re protecting their dignity. - They’re not being difficult, they feel unseen. In negotiation, we don’t just manage the message. We manage the mindset it lands in. The issue isn’t always the issue. The mindset is.