Importance Of Soft Skills In Engineering

"I'll just wing it. I'm good on my feet." A Managing Director said this before walking into a $50M budget approval meeting. He walked out empty-handed. After 25+ years watching high potential executives crash and burn in "the room where it happens," I've learned something most people miss: 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸 𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗲𝗻𝘀 𝗯𝗲𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗹𝗸 𝗶𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗿𝗼𝗼𝗺. Influence isn't about charm. It's about preparation. Here's an approach you can put into practice today to immediately up your influencing impact. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗔𝗱𝘃𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗪𝗼𝗿𝗸 𝗙𝗿𝗮𝗺𝗲𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸: 𝟭. 𝗠𝗮𝗽 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗣𝗼𝘄𝗲𝗿 (𝗡𝗼𝘁 𝗝𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗢𝗿𝗴 𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗿𝘁) • Who really makes the decision? (Hint: Not always who you think) • What keeps them up at night? • Who do they trust for input? One client discovered the "junior" person in the room was the CEO's former chief of staff. Guess whose opinion mattered most? 𝟮. 𝗕𝘂𝗶𝗹𝗱 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗖𝗼𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗕𝗲𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗡𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝗜𝘁 The worst time to make allies? When you need them. Smart executives plant seeds months before the harvest: • Coffee with the skeptics • Informal temperature checks • Strategic information sharing By the time you're pitching, you already know who's with you. 𝟯. 𝗞𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝗧𝗵𝗲𝗶𝗿 𝗟𝗮𝗻𝗴𝘂𝗮𝗴𝗲, 𝗡𝗼𝘁 𝗝𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗠𝗲𝘀𝘀𝗮𝗴𝗲 Match your message to their metrics: • Revenue-focused? Show growth • Cost-conscious? Show savings • Risk-averse? Show mitigation Same idea. Different frame. Completely different outcome. 𝟰. 𝗣𝗿𝗲-𝗦𝗲𝗹𝗹 𝗘𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗧𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗠𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀 The meeting isn't where you sell. It's where you confirm. If you're introducing new information in the room, you've already lost. The best executives I know follow this rule: 𝗡𝗼 𝘀𝘂𝗿𝗽𝗿𝗶𝘀𝗲𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝗯𝗶𝗴 𝗺𝗲𝗲𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀. 𝗘𝘃𝗲𝗿. That person who always seems to "get lucky" with approvals? They're not lucky. They're doing 10x the advance work you are. While you're perfecting your slides, they're having strategic hallway conversations. While you're rehearsing your pitch, they're addressing objections before they're raised. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗕𝗼𝘁𝘁𝗼𝗺 𝗟𝗶𝗻𝗲: Your ability to influence has very little to do with your charisma in the moment. It has everything to do with the relationships you've built, the intelligence you've gathered, and the groundwork you've laid. Stop counting on spontaneous charm. Start investing in strategic preparation. Because in the C-suite, there are no successful surprise attacks. 🎯 When was the last time you walked into a crucial conversation truly prepared—not just with data, but with deep insight into every person in that room? Be honest. Your next promotion might depend on it. ------------ ♻️ Share with someone who needs to stop winging it and start winning it ➕ Follow Courtney Intersimone for more truth about what really drives executive success

Regulating your nervous system is a career builder. Our brains were originally wired for survival. When we perceive a threat, our cave-person amygdala activates a fight or flight response. This mechanism evolved to keep us alive, not to help us reason through a tough meeting. In modern work environments, critical feedback or public disagreement can be misinterpreted as a threat to status or safety. Once that alarm is triggered, the prefrontal cortex, responsible for reasoning and self-regulation, goes partially offline. The result is an emotional reaction that can feel disproportionate to the “real” situation. Withdrawing under pressure is a natural instinct. When the nervous system is flooded, shutting down can feel like a safe option. However, in an important meeting or decision, withdrawal can create more problems. It can erode trust and leave conflicts unresolved. Over time, repeated cycles of this can create feelings of chronic stress. “I don’t want to go to this meeting.” Managing reactions to feedback and conflict is about regulating your nervous system in the moment. One effective strategy is to pause before responding. Even a slow breath can reduce physiological arousal enough for the prefrontal cortex. “You got this.” Another is cognitive reframing: consciously labeling feedback as information, not a verdict. Asking a clarifying question, such as “What would good look like here?”, can shift the interaction from threat to joint solving. Staying engaged during the heat is a learned skill. Over time, practicing staying calm and engaged can retrain the brain to handle workplace friction. The goal is not to eliminate all emotional reactions, but to respond more deliberately, especially when the instinct to withdraw feels strong.

It was 8:10 in the morning when a father’s phone started buzzing. His son’s name flashed on the screen. “Dad, I messed up. I forgot my laptop at home. My project presentation is in first period. My PPT is on it. Can you please bring it to school?” The father could have gone off. “You are always so careless.” “I told you to pack everything last night.” But he did not. He took a breath, grabbed the laptop from the study table, and rushed out. Fifteen minutes later, he was at the school gate, slightly out of breath, laptop in hand. His son ran over, eyes wide with stress. The moment he saw the laptop, his shoulders relaxed. “Thank you, Dad. And thank you for not shouting at me.” The father just smiled. Because in his head, he knew this: The way you respond when someone is already scared is what they remember, not just what you say. That evening, when both of them were calm, they sat together at the dining table. They went over what happened. They talked about packing the bag the night before, keeping the laptop on charge, making a small checklist, taking ownership when mistakes happen. The lesson landed, not because he delivered a long lecture, but because earlier in the day, his son felt supported, not judged. This is exactly how senior engineers should handle juniors. You do not build trust by snapping the moment a deployment fails. You build it by jumping in to help, even when it ruins your schedule. When a junior breaks something, the urge to fire off a rant is strong. Fix together first, talk about what went wrong after. Because good engineers do not stay just for salary or perks. They stay where they feel safe enough to admit,“I forgot something, I messed up, I need help,” and know that someone will show up for them. That is how you build teams that stay together, at home and at work.

I was Wrong about Influence. Early in my career, I believed influence in a decision-making meeting was the direct outcome of a strong artifact presented and the ensuing discussion. However, with more leadership experience, I have come to realize that while these are important, there is something far more important at play. Influence, for a given decision, largely happens outside of and before decision-making meetings. Here's my 3 step approach you can follow to maximize your influence: (#3 is often missed yet most important) 1. Obsess over Knowing your Audience Why: Understanding your audience in-depth allows you to tailor your communication, approach and positioning. How: ↳ Research their backgrounds, how they think, what their goals are etc. ↳ Attend other meetings where they are present to learn about their priorities, how they think and what questions they ask. Take note of the topics that energize them or cause concern. ↳ Engage with others who frequently interact with them to gain additional insights. Ask about their preferences, hot buttons, and any subtle cues that could be useful in understanding their perspective. 2. Tailor your Communication Why: This ensures that your message is not just heard but also understood and valued. How: ↳ Seek inspiration from existing artifacts and pickup queues on terminologies, context and background on the give topic. ↳ Reflect on their goals and priorities, and integrate these elements into your communication. For instance, if they prioritize efficiency, highlight how your proposal enhances productivity. ↳Ask yourself "So what?" or "Why should they care" as a litmus test for relatability of your proposal. 3. Pre-socialize for support Why: It allows you to refine your approach, address potential objections, and build a coalition of support (ahead of and during the meeting). How: ↳ Schedule informal discussions or small group meetings with key stakeholders or their team members to discuss your idea(s). A casual coffee or a brief virtual call can be effective. Lead with curiosity vs. an intent to respond. ↳ Ask targeted questions to gather feedback and gauge reactions to your ideas. Examples: What are your initial thoughts on this draft proposal? What challenges do you foresee with this approach? How does this align with our current priorities? ↳ Acknowledge, incorporate and highlight the insights from these pre-meetings into the main meeting, treating them as an integral part of the decision-making process. What would you add? PS: BONUS - Following these steps also expands your understanding of the business and your internal network - both of which make you more effective. --- Follow me, tap the (🔔) Omar Halabieh for daily Leadership and Career posts.

Consider Promoting vs Restraining Forces When Persuading. When attempting to change a behavior or attitude, you must consider the action forces that promote and inhibit the change you are pursuing. Most persuasion efforts focus on promoting forces by explaining why you should make the change being suggested: Eat this broccoli because it will make you strong. Invest in this company so you can make great future returns. Drive this car so you can impress a prospective romantic partner. Promoting forces represent the benefits, incentives, or avoided negative outcomes of enacting the change. Most advertising promotes change. However, promoting forces are not always enough to effect change. You must consider the inhibiting or restraining forces that prevent someone from changing. In the broccoli battles I had, my kids understood very clearly the benefits of eating their greens and they were even excited by the elaborate rewards I concocted (e.g., each bite of broccoli translated to two bites of ice cream). However, they could not get beyond the texture and taste. These visceral responses prevented them from consuming the broccoli. With a little culinary cover up (e.g., dipping sauces and ice cream sprinkles), I was able to remove the restraining forces and achieve victory. Failing to address inhibitory forces can actually decrease the likelihood of behavior change. People can get very frustrated if they desire the change you are promoting but can’t get beyond the forces restraining the behavior. For example, consider a typical campaign to get sedentary people to exercise more. The promoting arguments are clear and desirable – greater health, more energy, etc. However, the lack of time and potential pain that comes with new exercise regimens can prevent people from starting. People bombarded solely with promoting messages might begin to resent those trying to help them be healthy since they are unable or unwilling to exercise. A more complete and effective campaign would focus not only on the benefits of exercise, but one developing less strenuous and less time consuming workouts.

Your body speaks before you say a single word. In fact, it might be the loudest voice in the room. You’ve probably heard the “7%-38%-55% rule”: 🧠 7% of communication is words 🎤 38% is tone of voice 🧍♂️ 55% is body language But here’s the twist: that rule is misunderstood. Albert Mehrabian’s study only applies when your verbal and non-verbal cues conflict — especially when expressing emotions. Think: someone says “I’m fine”… but sounds irritated and folds their arms. We believe the body, not the words. In leadership communication, this matters enormously. Because if you say, “I’m confident we’ll hit our goals” — but your face looks tense, your posture unsure — your team won’t buy it. To be truly persuasive and trustworthy, your body language must match your message. Here are 7 practical ways to elevate your non-verbal communication: 1️⃣ Mirror Their Movements ↳ It creates instant rapport and shows empathy. 2️⃣ Move with Intention ↳ Avoid nervous fidgeting or pacing — be grounded. 3️⃣ Keep Gestures Open ↳ Uncrossed arms and visible hands signal trust. 4️⃣ Be Conscious of Your Face ↳ Your face reflects your thoughts before your words do. 5️⃣ Hold Eye Contact ↳ It shows presence, confidence, and honesty. 6️⃣ Command Your Space ↳ Sit or stand tall — posture is power. 7️⃣ Smile Authentically ↳ A genuine smile is your fastest path to connection. Non-verbal mastery isn’t about being robotic, it’s about being aligned. Because when your words, tone, and body all say the same thing? People don’t just listen, they believe. ♻️ Repost to help others become better leaders.  📌 Follow me, Oliver Aust, for daily strategies to speak like a CEO.

Want people to buy into your ideas? Try unselling them. It sounds counterintuitive, but one of the fastest ways to lower resistance is to stop overselling your point of view. Recently, while test-driving an electric vehicle, I asked the salesperson about the car’s range. Instead of giving me the polished marketing answer, he told me to take about 20% off the manufacturer’s estimate for real-world driving. That single comment made me trust him more. Why? Because he wasn’t trying to convince me. He was trying to help me make a good decision. Too often, when we’re trying to influence others, we pile on evidence, logic, and reasons why we’re right. But the harder we push, the more people push back. Influence isn’t about increasing pressure. It’s about reducing resistance. When people don’t feel sold to, they’re far more willing to listen, consider, and change their minds. Sometimes the most persuasive thing you can do is unsell your idea.

This week’s soft skill is often ignored, but always powerful: Reading non-verbal cues with empathy, not assumption. Most of us notice body language. Few of us truly understand it. A colleague goes quiet in a meeting, Are they disinterested, or simply overwhelmed? A manager folds their arms, Are they angry, or just thinking? An employee avoids eye contact, Are they shy, or do they not feel safe yet? Here’s the truth: Body language is not a fact, it’s a signal. And signals need empathy, not judgment. When you read cues with empathy: – Conversations feel safer – Conflicts de-escalate – Trust deepens A simple practice to try: Notice the cue. Name it without labeling. Nudge gently with curiosity. Because workplaces don’t just run on words. They run on pauses, silences, and tone. P.S. Next time you see a cue, don’t conclude. Check in, and choose empathy. #SoftSkillsMatter #NonVerbalCommunication #LeadershipDevelopment #EmpathyAtWork

The most ethical marketers are the best manipulators. It’s the job description, unfortunately. What do magicians and marketers have in common? A deep understanding of the human psyche. Both know that people construct reality from incomplete information. We perceive the world by processing chunks of raw data, and not by seeing things as they are. Our brains fill in the gaps. We create narratives to remove cognitive dissonance. Magicians exploit this to create impossible moments. Marketers use it to shape perception and drive decisions. The difference lies in the contract. Magicians create temporary illusions for entertainment. You know you're being fooled, you just can't figure out how. That's the whole point. Marketers on the other hand, guide perceptions to help people make decisions. But most get this wrong and start optimising for the trick and not the relationship. And people can tell. Here's what ethical persuasion actually looks like. 1. You will influence perception. Make it easy to opt out. When every design decision becomes a nudge, choice architecture is unavoidable. So, the question isn't whether to influence, but how. Are you designing for the customer's long-term benefit, or just your short-term conversion? I hate brands that onboard you in 3 clicks, but require huge efforts from you to opt-out of their services. 2. Signal long-term commitment, and not just transaction. When a business focuses narrowly on short-term profit, it appears less trustworthy. For instance, solving a customer problem at your own expense signals commitment to a future relationship. 3. Help them achieve their goals, not just yours. Manipulation changes behaviour to serve your agenda. Empowerment uses the same psychology to help people achieve their goals. Weight Watchers uses behavioural design to help people stick to a goal they chose. A predatory lender uses the same psychology to trap people in debt they don't want. Before any campaign, ask four questions: • If your customers knew how this worked, would they still choose it? • Does this help them achieve their goals, or just my brand’s? • Am I designing for their long-term wellbeing or my short-term conversion? • Can they easily opt out or change their mind? If the answers make you feel weird, the campaign's wrong. The opportunity here is nuanced, but massive. Brands caught using persuasion as a form of concealed manipulation lose trust. On the other hand, brands that treat it as a disclosed partnership win continuation probability.

Coffee is for closers. That line, and the toxic bravado behind it, needs to go. The best consultants and salespeople don’t sell. They start with one simple question: “Why?” And The Wolf of Wall Street is not a how-to sales guide. It’s a cautionary tale soaked in ego and adrenaline. Glengarry Glen Ross? Same thing. A masterclass in manipulation and moral bankruptcy, yet somehow these warped tactics, fast talk, pressure plays, "always be closing" still show up in sales training, and yes, recruitment floors. The recruitment industry, like it's close cousin real estate, is littered with outdated tropes: “Sell the pen.” “ABC: Always Be closing.” “Dominate the room.” Say whatever it takes to close the deal. These tactics are not just outdated. They’re shallow. Real influence doesn’t come from how well you pitch, post, or promote. It comes from how well you listen and whether what you say is backed by substance. Take “Eddie,” a self-proclaimed million-dollar biller with stories spanning Manhattan, London, and beyond. Mate, we all know it’s smoke and mirrors. A performance. You aren’t Brisbane’s own James Bond. The truth? -- The best salespeople don’t push. They pull. -- They don’t dominate the room. They open it up. -- They don’t talk more. They listen better. But not just any questions. They ask the ones no one else dares to. The ones that peel back assumptions, uncover motivations, get to the root of the problem. Most people ask what. Good people ask how. The best ask "why." Why? Because “why” changes the conversation. It unlocks purpose. Invites honesty and builds trust. “Why did that matter to you?” “Why do you feel that way?” “Why” is a shortcut to the truth. I remember sitting in a team meeting years ago. Nick, a sharp and well-respected colleague, was pitching a cost-saving plan that completely missed the mark for our customers. Instead of challenging him directly, I just kept asking “Why?” Five times. Eventually, he paused, and concluded there were better, more customer-focused options. That’s the power of better questions. Not to trap someone, but to help them see more clearly. When you lead with curiosity, you’re building connection. You’re showing someone you care about them, not just the transaction. And that’s where trust happens. That’s what actually drives referrals, sales, and loyalty. Take it from me, someone who spent +20 years getting this wrong. It turns out that the sale is just the byproduct. The real win? Be the person who gets it. Who listens when others talk. Who connects instead of convinces. Be the person who gives it all away for "free." Because you know it will come back around anyway. So next time you’re in a conversation, sales or otherwise, ditch the “pitch script.” Get curious. Ask better questions. Go where others don’t. And above all, ask "Why?" The real magic in winning the deal, doesn't happen when you sell. It happens when you understand. Enjoy the coffee.