Communicating Performance Expectations

Empathy isn’t soft it’s a superpower. Used wrong, it burns leaders out. Here’s how to make it sustainable. Empathic orgs see more creativity, helping, resilience and less burnout and attrition. Employees (esp. Millennials/Gen Z) now expect it. Wearing the “empathy helmet” means you feel everyone’s highs and lows. Middle managers fry first. Caring ≠ self-sacrifice. The fix = Sustainable empathy Care without collapsing by stacking: self-compassion → tuned caring → practice. So drop the martyr mindset. • Notice your stress (name it) • Remember it’s human & shared • Talk to yourself like you would a friend • Ask for help model it and your team will too Why does this matter? Unchecked stress dulls perspective and spikes reactivity. When leaders absorb nonstop venting, next-day negativity rises and so does mistreatment. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Move 2: Tune your caring Two empathies: • Emotional empathy = feel their pain • Empathic concern = help relieve it Keep concern high, distress low. “Caring binds; sharing blinds.” How to tune (in the moment) • 60 seconds of breathing before hard talks • Validate without absorbing: “This is hard and it makes sense.” • Boundaries + presence: “I’m here. Let’s focus on next steps.” • Offer concrete help: “Here’s what we’ll try by Friday.” • Also share joy celebrate wins to refuel the tank Move 3: Treat empathy as a skill It’s trainable. Build emotional balance: shift from absorbing pain → generating care. Try brief compassion meditation (“May you be safe, well, at ease.”) and pre-regulate before tough conversations. Mini audit after tough chats Ask yourself: • How much did I feel with vs. care for? • What do they need long-term? • What will I do to help this week? A simple script 1. Validate: “I can see why this stings.” 2. Future: “Success looks like X.” 3. Action: “Let’s do Y by [date]; I’ll support with Z.” Team rituals that sustain you • Start meetings with “What help do you need?” • Normalize asking for support • Micro-celebrate progress weekly • Protect recovery blocks on calendars Self-compassion + tuned concern + practice = sustainable empathy. What’s one habit you’ll try this week to protect your energy and support your team?

Accountability is one of the most important—and often overlooked—skills in leadership. It’s not about micromanaging or policing your team. It’s about setting people up for success. How? 🤷♀️ Through the three C's of clear expectations, challenging conversations and consistent follow-through. While we all want to believe people will naturally follow through on what they commit to, that doesn’t always happen. And when it doesn’t, too many leaders let it slide. But brushing these moments under the carpet doesn’t help anyone, all it does is erode accountability over time. So, what DO you do?? 1️⃣ Be crystal clear about expectations. Ambiguity is the enemy of accountability. If people don’t know exactly what’s expected of them, how can they deliver? Take the time to clarify actions and responsibilities WITH them, not for them. 2️⃣ Document commitments in 1:1 check-ins. Writing the actions down is REALLY important. It ensures nothing gets lost and sets a reference point for everyone involved. 3️⃣ Explain the 'why.' People are much more likely to follow through if they understand why their actions matter. How does their work contribute to the bigger picture? What’s at stake if it’s not done effectively and efficiently? 4️⃣ Anticipate and address barriers. Ask if there are any obstacles standing in the way of getting the job done. When you help remove these barriers, you’re building trust and giving people every chance to succeed. 5️⃣ Follow up at the agreed time. Don’t leave it to chance—check in when you said you would. Ideally, your team members will update you before you even have to ask. But if they don’t, don’t skip the scheduled follow-up. 6️⃣ Acknowledge effort or address gaps. If the action was completed, recognize the effort. If it wasn’t, outline the expectations for the role and provide specific feedback on what needs to improve. Be transparent about the implications of not meeting role requirements over time, ensuring the person understands both the consequences and the support available to help them succeed. (A lot of people need help to develop the skills to have this conversation!!) 7️⃣ Plan the next steps. Whether the task was completed or not, always end by agreeing on the next steps and setting clear timelines. If you need a lean/leadership coach to work on these areas and help increase accountability right across your organization, then get in touch! It's one of my specialties... 😉 _____________________________________________________ I'm Catherine- a Lean Business and Leadership Coach. I take a practical hands-on approach to helping teams and individuals achieve better results with less stress. Follow me for insights on lean, leadership and more.

Last week I led a session on #PerformanceManagement for senior leaders. One of them reached out with the following important question about #PsychologicalSafety in the context of managing underperformance: "Psychological safety is an extremely difficult concept to pin down, especially in a setting where we have to strike a balance between supporting human beings under pressure, while at the same time being accountable for results. I would like to have more guidance on is how one manages the psychological safety element in a situation of underperformance - which often requires (at least partially) withdrawing that safety, to the discomfort of the staff member." Here is my advice to those of you wondering the same thing: In the context of managing underperformance, having psychological safety means feeling that you won't be punished or humiliated for making mistakes or for underperforming. That being said, having a conversation with a supervisor about your performance when you’re not meeting expectations is inherently stressful. It is psychologically difficult for people to focus on where they are coming up short; this undermines their sense of self as a competent person, particularly when they feel that they have been working diligently or when they have been negatively affected by situations beyond their control. While it may not be possible to make a staff member completely comfortable during feedback conversations about underperformance — and indeed, a total lack of discomfort with the status quo may not be optimal for motivating improvement — these conversations are much more likely to achieve their aim of helping the staff member perform at a higher level when the supervisor does the following:   ⋙ Provide Actionable Feedback ⋘ 👉 Give specific, timely, and constructive feedback on performance gaps, not just vague criticisms. 👉 Clearly outline expectations, metrics, and deadlines for improvement. Maintain an empathetic, development-focused tone even as you increase accountability. ⋙ Focus on Development, Not Just Evaluation ⋘ 👉 When addressing underperformance, emphasize how you can support the employee's growth and improvement. Make it clear the goal is to help the employee succeed. 👉 Collaboratively identify obstacles (e.g., by asking questions like, “What is most difficult about this for you?” and “What’s getting in the way?”) and craft a plan to overcome them through coaching, training, or other resources. 👉 Engage the staff member in articulating what help they feel they need and what path forward feels most motivating and productive. This helps to build employee ownership over their plan for improvement rather than thrusting it upon them.

𝐇𝐑 𝐕𝐬 𝐄𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐲 I would like to reflect on a incident that happened many years ago A dedicated employee started missing deadlines. Her usual enthusiasm faded, and she seemed disengaged in meetings. Some team members assumed she was losing interest in her work, and her manager was considering a performance review. Before making any decisions, the HR team decided to have a conversation with her. Instead of focusing on missed targets, they asked a simple yet powerful question: “Is everything okay?” Tears welled up her eyes. She shared that she was struggling with a personal loss and was trying to balance work while dealing with grief. She feared that opening up about her situation would make her seem weak or unprofessional. Instead of issuing warnings or performance improvement plans, HR and her manager collaborated to adjust her workload temporarily and provided access to counseling support. Within weeks, she started regaining her confidence. She felt valued not just as an employee but as a person. Soon, she was back to her best, contributing with renewed energy and gratitude. This incident reinforced a crucial lesson: 👉Empathy is not just a soft skill; it is a strategic necessity in HR. 👉 When we listen, understand, and support, we do not just retain employees But we build a workplace where people thrive. 💭Have you witnessed a moment where empathy made all the difference in your workplace? Share your thoughts in the comments. #HR #EmpathyAtWork #WorkplaceCulture Image Courtesy : Pexel

𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐝, 𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐲 𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧 — 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐭𝐡 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐲𝐞𝐝. On the surface, it looked like a performance issue. She had always been dependable — the kind of team member who needed no reminders. But lately, deadlines were slipping, responses were delayed, and her energy in meetings had dipped to near silence. It would have been easy — and not unusual — for her manager to move straight to concern, or worse, frustration. Instead, she chose to pause, observe, and ask. They stepped into a one-on-one. Not for feedback. Just to check in. “I’ve noticed you’ve seemed a little distant lately,” the manager said gently. “Is everything okay?” That one line opened the door. The employee admitted she was in the middle of a difficult divorce, juggling emotional upheaval and custody negotiations. She didn’t want pity — she simply needed space to cope and not fall apart. There was no grand speech. No big promises. Just presence and empathy! They revised her deliverables, added some breathing room into her week, and agreed to stay in touch more closely for a while. The work got done — at a human pace. The employee stayed — not just on the job, but with a deeper sense of trust. Because what she remembered most wasn't a policy or a perk. It was a person — who noticed her, asked gently, and stayed grounded enough to listen. 𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡, 𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐲 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐚 𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐠𝐞 — 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐮𝐢𝐥𝐭. 🌿 𝐓𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲 1.Empathy isn’t about rescuing — it’s about recognising what someone carries. 2. #Leadership isn’t just about managing outcomes. It’s about noticing shifts, and asking the questions no one else thinks to. 3. Emotional resilience is not just an individual trait — it’s something leaders can help rebuild in others through small, steady acts of care. 4. The space between judgment and understanding is where trust is either broken — or built. ✨ 𝐑𝐞𝐟𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐬 • When someone’s performance drops, do I jump to correct — or pause to connect? • Do I create the kind of environment where people feel safe sharing what’s really going on? • Who showed me #empathy when I needed it most — and how did it change the way I showed up after that? • What could it look like to lead with both clarity and care in my next one-on-one? This post is part of my reflections under 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐈𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐄𝐝𝐠𝐞 and continues the series on 𝐄𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐑𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞. Because #resilience isn’t always about bouncing back on your own. Sometimes, it’s about not having to carry it alone in the first place. #TheInnerEdge #EmpathyAtWork #EmotionalResilience #LeadershipInPractice #SelfLeadership #TruePresence #LeadershipStories #ExecutivePresence #HR #Manager

In senior leadership roles, the performance appraisal isn’t just a review of the past year. It is a chance to set clear, motivating goals that guide both individual and organizational growth into the future. Well-set goals transform appraisals from mere evaluations into forward-focused conversations that inspire accountability and long-term impact. Here’s a five-step approach you can use in performance appraisal sessions to setting strategic, individualized goals that drive success. 1. Align goals with the organization’s vision This alignment helps your team to see how their individual contributions fit within the bigger picture, which can be especially motivating. Engage in conversations to discuss specific ways individual contributions help drive those priorities. 2. Set SMART Goals for clarity and focus Instead of a vague goal like “improve project management skills,” suggest specific targets and timelines to aim for. For example, the team member may need to get a project management certification by the end of Q2 and apply new techniques on two key projects. 3. Leverage strengths and address growth areas This will encourage your team members to play to their strengths and take on new challenges. This approach builds confidence and reinforces a growth mindset. 4. Provide development resources for growth. Some of the resources you can recommend to your team include training, mentorship, or project-based learning. This investment in the development of your people shows you are committed to their long-term growth. 5. Set up regular check-ins for accountability. Goal-setting is just the start—following up is equally essential. Regular check-ins allow you to monitor progress, address challenges, and adjust targets as needed. These check-ins also reinforce accountability and keep your team members motivated. As we conclude this series on navigating performance appraisals as a leader, you have a role in making this season transformative for your team. John Maxwell says it well: 'Everything rises and falls on leadership'. How you lead your team matters to you, to the individual members in your team, and the organization as a whole. #leadershipdevelopment #careerdevelopment #careers #leadership #personaldevelopment #leaders

The coach blows up to end the activity…players trudge off to the side of the pitch to get some water… They look to rest…but the coach is focused on active rest. Rest the body, keep the mind active… So he places himself inside the group and starts asking some questions… “Joe, what were your key takeaways from that activity? Simon, how will use those movements on Saturday and what might the opposition do to limit your effectiveness?” He’s asking these questions to ensure players cement his instructions in their long-term memory and limit their forgetting. -retrieval practice -the forgetting curve (Ebbinghaus) ************************************ The coach engages the player in front of her with intent. She’s been working on her listening skills…an audacious sense of listening to help her connect and to help her understand. She knows what to say… “Ok, what I’m hearing you say is that you’ve been really down lately. And you’re concerned that your mood has been negatively impacting your play. I’m hearing that you’re worried for your place in the team. I understand…it sounds like you’re going through some challenges at home and that you feel it’s affecting your game…” She’s been studying Motivational Interviewing as a psychological framework to utilise in her coaching, and she learned that reflection and empathy are key communication skills to use with her players to broaden conversation, co-create solutions, and build strong connection. -Motivational Interviewing -Reflection -Empathy ************************************ “You look really tight out there Jess. What was running through your mind?” (Open question) “I just wanted to score so badly. I wanted to make a real impact in this game” “I hear you. You’re a striker and so you wanted to score, and you wanted to stand out. Can I make a suggestion about those objective?” (Reflection and seeking permission to coach to reduce anxiety) “Yeah…I think I need some help here” “I understand your objectives. I think it would be useful for us to think about the things that will help you to score and help you to stand out. Any thoughts on that?” (Helping the player become more task-oriented…lessening ego-involvement)”

Goal-setting can make or break performance. ☑ What it is ↳ The relationship between goal difficulty and performance shows how the level of challenge impacts effort and achievement ↳ Moderately difficult, clear, and attainable “stretch goals” drive the best results. Easy goals? People don’t try. Impossible goals? People burn out, disengage, or cut corners. ☑ **Why it matters for managers** 1. Drives motivation and focus   ↳ Well-calibrated goals direct limited attention to what matters most. 2. Encourages innovation   ↳ Challenging goals prompt employees to devise innovative solutions. 3. Improves strategic alignment   ↳ Properly set goals connect daily actions to big-picture strategy. 4. Avoids negative consequences   ↳ Unrealistic goals risk burnout, frustration, or unethical behaviour. 5. Maximises Return-on-Management (ROM)   ↳ The right level of difficulty ensures managers achieve more with the same time and attention. ☑ How to set the “right” level of goal difficulty ↳ Review past performance: Set goals slightly above historical averages to push improvement. ↳ Check resource availability: Ambition without resources leads to failure. ↳ Involve employees: Co-creating goals increases buy-in and accuracy. ↳ Monitor early progress: Adjust if performance trends show goals are too easy or demotivating. If you want peak performance, set clear, challenging, but attainable stretch goals—not “too easy” or “too hard” ones. P.S. If you like content like this, please follow me.

Last week, I had the privilege of facilitating a three-day leadership training for all the managers and directors of a local government agency. The day our training began, I received heartbreaking news: a family friend had died by suicide as a result of a workplace issue. The tragedy was a gut-wrenching reminder that what happens inside our organizations—and inside our people—matters deeply. It reinforced why I begin almost every leadership training with the foundation of the Step into Your Moxie® Vocal Empowerment System: developing a strong Inner Voice. When leaders don’t understand or tend to their own inner dialogue—or the voices that dominate their team members’ internal narratives—employee engagement, performance, and well-being suffer. Sometimes, the consequences are far worse. So, in this training, we lingered longer than usual on self-talk. We explored: What voices hold the mic in your head, especially during uncomfortable moments? How does that internal chatter show up in communication and leadership with team members? What do you think the people you lead say to themselves, especially when they make a mistake, receive feedback, or feel overwhelmed? And then we got practical. When we transitioned into a module on coaching direct reports through a performance improvement plan, we began with empathy mapping. Because we had spent time building intrapersonal awareness, participants were able to go deeper, to look past surface-level behaviors and identify fears, assumptions, and narratives driving their employees’ actions. We talked about how to do this in the real world, especially during 1-on-1s and more formal coaching moments. We talked about how to take these insights into everyday leadership. Participants identified the importance of: -Beginning 1-on-1s with a genuine check-in—asking how people are really doing, and gently probing when someone’s initial answer feels surface-level. -Shifting from “How do I fix this?” to “Where does this person need support?”—and staying open to the idea that what people most need may not be more training or resources, but to feel seen and heard. -Removing isolation and building trust—by creating consistent space for honest dialogue, leaders reduce stigma and strengthen the foundation for positive mental health at work. When leaders prioritize presence over perfection—and connection over correction—they help rewrite the internal narratives that so often go unchecked. This is how we create cultures where people not only perform better, but also feel safer, stronger, and more human at work. Because sometimes, the most powerful leadership skill we have is helping someone shift the voice that says they’re not enough or that they’re alone as they navigate tough times.

You may have heard “be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” When you win this hard battle, you are given tools to better endure the next one. When you lose or draw out this battle, your next battle doesn’t wait its turn. The conveyor belt of life will keep churning out challenges. Some people aren’t just fighting a hard battle. They are fighting on multiple battlefields. They develop responses, not to win battles but to survive them - to minimize the damage of all that is piling up. Leading people who have stacked up past and current trauma is to lead people who are healing as they go. I heard, “healing is not about becoming the best version of yourself. Healing is letting the worst version of yourself be loved. Healing is saying ‘every single version of me deserves love. Deserves tenderness. Deserves grace.’” I didn’t know it coming into the senior living industry, but I have certainly understood it by now. The work that Jean Hartnett is doing is helping to bring light to this for others and me. We are not just managing task completion, attendance, productivity, and performance. We don’t really earn that right UNLESS and UNTIL… We come alongside those we lead to aid in their journey of healing. It isn’t that people are broken. They’re just fighting hard battles and sometimes many battles. They need you to pick up a shield (maybe those tools and the empathy you’ve gained from winning past battles) and stand in the battlefield with them. An executive of a company once asked me while reviewing turnover data, “what’s wrong with these caregivers? Doesn’t anyone want to work hard anymore?” That guy is NOT in the arena. He’s an emperor ruling over his empire. Don’t be an emperor. Be a fellow gladiator. 1️⃣ Learn and develop skills in emotional intelligence 2️⃣ Learn about trauma informed care 3️⃣ Keep a long term outlook on performance. It is not an event. Performance isn’t the collective output of people who simply “work hard”. Performance is the accumulated effectiveness of people who trust their leader. “Being kind” isn’t a passive state, nor is it coddling. It is a list of skills you must possess. It is perspective plus action. Kind leaders are as action-oriented, strong, energetic, and motivated as any other leader of determined focus. And here’s the big bet… they’ll ultimately have teams that FAR outperform the emperor.